method

finding some method to end all pains,

finding an easy method,

been reading some effective method.

just need to take a step to do it.

there is a time it will happen.

just to end it!

shallow thoughts 2-5-11

in my mind I've shallows thoughts every single moment in my life, sometime it makes me sad, and sometimes a slight of smile came out me. I've never thought of how will I be in the next 10years, nor I can't even imagine what will happen to me tomorrow.

Living today to the fullest with no regret is it the best motivation? 

or

taking every chances I have?

sometimes living in this earth making filled with frustration.

why life in is so tough, can it end soon?

I believe this is not a dream that happen, this is reality.

Life hurts.
I can't pleased everyone.
things have happen,
I know the reaction and rejection.
But could someone stand in my shoes and think, what is happening in my life.

people advice, I've been tru what you been tru.....(lies)
I know people try to help,
But I think not helping will be a help.

If I have 1 last wish in my life, I would wish for you.
taking away all your sadness and putting only happiness in you.
 

shallow thoughts. 17.04.11

I confess my sorrows my sadness to you, my joy and my happiness. 

People will judge my action but I don't give a shit about other people think.

I give my true word and thoughts only to you. 

I don't know how will it end,  but now I know the feeling is so right, So living for today is important.

And thinking about tomorrow is just a waste of time.

Some how I don't care what people think about me, cause there are not me.

they don't know my feelings. I am living my own life.

I will not regret till the day that I die.

Because, anyone ask who ask me on my death bed, if I'm dying tomorrow. "will you regret what you did".

I will say NO. I did the best thing, and is right and living at this moment, cherishing what we had and been tru.

What do love mean to other people?

Love can't be explain, there is no reason.

sorry

everyone have a bad day,

so... I have one too...

I am sorry I am begin a pussy not admitting the facts, 

that facing in fear and guilt, 

I know I am not suppose to feel this way, and I can't control my feelings.

I am so sorry to hurt your feelings and making it clear,

Is my choice to feel bad and lousy, 

to be honest, 

I should received it like just another day.

Holding fear, anger and guilt on the pass is not going to help me feel better, yet I feel worst.

I am sincerely  apologizing to whom it may concern.

you know who you are. 

I have done things over board, I feel so so so sorry.

truly am making a huge mistake.

Holding up the grouch and putting up the unthinkable mistake I have done.

So sorry.

and I am trying my very best to let the pass be the pass. 

and unfold the future. 

I am such a stupid person some time, and I admit it.

desperation in need your forgiveness.

I am so so so so so so sorry.

sound of the thunder hits and strik.

the sound of rain and thunder always fits in my feeling, it never fails once.

conquering the fear within, is very difficult and when the thunder strikes, I felt it pierce into my heart.

I know I shouldn't fear of all this, yet it hard to deny. I am afraid. 

I asked myself why do I have to be afraid? is just rain and thunder? it is just me?

whipping the rain drops on the window side is like whipping the tears from  my heart. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

it breaks my shelter and my comfort fire,

it took away my hope.

making a point

soon I am going to celebrate my 18th again birthday, and everyone is asking me what I want, what I need.

LIST

1. bring me to a good look out point to view sun raise
2. plan an outing without me planning it.
3. bring me to a show that make me laugh like crazy.
4. picnic outing would be nice.
5. give me a joyful day out of the city.

so this is the small little wish list!

 

what if.....

have you ever ask yourself, what will happen in the next hours?

Well I did!

-the break down-

1. ugly thoughts......

2.happy though.......

3.confusing though......

4.confidential though.....

5. keep in view though.....

6. sad though.......

7. mixed feelings though.....

= Brain function =

you your brain operates and it will not stop till your last day in this planet earth.

there is always question floating around.

or a prediction from your brain, things happen!!

~ what if ~

what if I took that job offer?

what if I you never left?

what if I said I love you?

what if I said wait?

what if I didn't ask the question I meant to ask?

what if I didn't respond?

There is a million what if.... but what If I didn't start this blog?

-__-