- and +

when you feel pain and hurt is always "-" sign pop up in to your mind, this is not a good thoughts.

when you smile and laugh your head out is it a "+"? do you really feel happy? are you just smiling and laughing cause everyone did it? or your making someone happy? 

truthfully, I am pretty down this few days, randoms thoughts and feelings come and go. 

sometimes is bad to think about negative and positive possibility, and things will happen next.

yet sometimes you can't stop yourself by thinking all the random things that happen.

is out of my control.

sometime I tell myself if I'm always sad and grumpy will it make things better or worst? 

what matters the most? 

I am rushing or too harsh on things?

there is question and question every day, that I ask myself,

holding ON and  LETTING go?

what should I hold ON too, is it worth it to let GO if I don't hold it tight?

my little 1pound brain don't make much senses sometime, it just think and think!

ahhhhhhhh......ALL I NEED IS........

i'm not too sure!!!

shallow thoughts. 10.11.10

fear, anger, sad, excitement, happy, random mix feeling..... just in 3hours time.

sometimes I am confuse with my own feelings in my daily life.

roller-coaster rides, there is up and down.... 

when you THINK that today is just another usual day, all plan out nice and smooth....

step by step... but mood swing change your whole day.

 Having random surprises visit with your emotion is not a perfect felling.

sometimes is FUN filled JOY, and sometimes just LAME and SAD

feel like crying so badly yet I can't, cause it just  make so many people worried and asking, "what happen?", "what is wrong". I know is okay to cry and be sad.

BUT

I

TRULY 

HATES 

IT!!!

when I have a random feelings, make me confuse and it JUST NOT RIGHT!!!

plus I know is not right to hold up all this to myself, and blogging is just a way to express my feelings and letting it out. 

BURST you stupid sadness in ME.

I know somewhere out there, A HUGE rainbow will appear and make me smile again.

if there is NO rainbow, hopefully... there is a awesome sun set, sun raise, cloud or even stars.... I could just gaze at, and make me feel all nice and warm inside out.

-my shallow thoughts 10.11.10-

  

News feed of my little brain.

His Grace created everything in Heaven and this earth that we are living in.

He made everything  all things possible, He knows us by names, He loves us, He give good gifts, and by his grace I am who I am now, His princess, his little girl, he comforts me when I am down. He know my needs, filling my empty soul with his undying love. I surrender to you, my lord my Saviour.

   ~mark 16:15. Go into all the world, and give the good news to everyone.~

 Lord I love you, please teach me how to trust and obey, sometimes I am afraid.

Yet sometime I know I have to step out in faith, and listen what you have to tell me.

I never forget that day you I got saved, is because I listen to you, my "papa" who loves me.

I know you are with me everyday, you know my prayer and my desire.

I know when the time is right my family will know you are the lord and Saviour of our life.

 

thanks giving~

Have you ever felt left out?

Have you ever felt your alone?

Some times I do have this feeling and I will turn to my "daddy" and asking him to fill me with strength, grace and joy. How amazing is he do fill me with strength when I am awfully tired, grace when I felt angry/worthless and Joy when I am sad.

Psalm 50:14-23  Make an offering of praise to God; keep the agreements which you have made with the Most High;Let your voice come up to me in the day of trouble; I will be your saviour, so that you may give glory to me.But to the sinner, God says, What are you doing, talking of my laws, or taking the words of my agreement in your mouth? Seeing that you have no desire for my teaching, turning your back on my words. When you saw a thief, you were in agreement with him, and you were joined with those who took other men's wives. You have given your mouth to evil, your tongue to words of deceit. You say evil of your brother; you make false statements against your mother's son. These things have you done, and I said nothing; it seemed to you that I was such a one as yourself; but I will make a protest against you, and put them in order before your eyes. Now keep this in mind, you who have no memory of God, for fear that you may be crushed under my hand, with no one to give you help: Whoever makes an offering of praise gives glory to me; and to him who is upright in his ways I will make clear the salvation of God. 

Faith makes all things possible! Praying and thanks giving what the lord have did for us. He loves us so much, we are his prince and princesses, be joyful always!

relationship status.

Single, In a relationship, Engaged, Married, It's complicated, In an open relationship (don't know what it means),

Widowed, Separated and Divorced. 

Relationship status... hrmmp... let put it this way!

I am not single, but I am in a relationship, yet engaged and married too. 

I'm in a relationship with GOD and engaged and married to him. I know it is complicated but is and open relationship me,him and you too. 

If you are Widowed, Separated or even Divorced, He will always be with you. He is everywhere!

this is my point of view.

P/s: aunty and uncle a.k.a I-WANT-TO-KNOW EVERYTHING.....I am not worry about my relationship status nor nervous if I am single. 

splash back memories

When was the day you think of  grandparents, parents, siblings, friends and little little things in life?

I think about my late grandparents that pass away when is 2002, her smile, laughter and her herbal tea that makes me vomit every time  I drink it. I didn't spend much time with my grandma, I barely know my own grandma.

But I know she loves us very much, although most of the time we don't understand what she is trying to say and hoping my parents translate correctly what she said, yet sometime I feel like I don't know who are they and somehow a generation is lost. My hearts melts when I see folks in the old folks home makes me sad and happy, because they share their life story to a stranger. How I wish my grandparents share that to me.

Is a shame that I don't have the opportunity to know my grandparents. 

Old people seems to have the sweets smile ever, and warmest hand that filled with love and peace.

I remember when I was a child my grandma will be very happy when we go back to visit her. A bright smile lighten her face with joy. It makes her happy when we are back. I can't relive in the past but memories will forever stay in my mind. 

Spending time with older folks is a privileges. Don't waste your time hanging out in a mall doing nothing, but spend time bring them out in a mall listen and share what is happening around you.

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One major fact that I learned, look and listen from your heart not your eyes and ears. In reality everyone listen thru ears and see it from their eyes, we need to learn to slow down our foot steep and take things easy trust your heart and everything will flow in the right spot just the way you want it to be. 

little bird

humming a song called little bird.

when I first starts to put words into this song, when I was in Medan JW Marriott hotel, In the pool.

Ohh well, I know when I am thinking about something, I will sing this song never fail, since that day onwards.

I didn't manage to finish the song because, the lyric is just my point of view and some question, Like a riddle.

I like to sing this little bird song, makes me smile, every time the lyric change but the beginning is still the same....

"Little little little bird, what can you see from the little little eyes..... tell me little little little bird, I want to know". 

well I hope one day I would write it down, every time I sing this song, It would be great to know and play back what I ask the little bird!